Peace. That’s all I wanted.

Glimmers of it shone through my love for horses, music, theater and writing, but the calm wavered against perfectionism. People-pleasing became my most comfortable existence, and I wore my kindness as a badge of honor.

The week of my 21st birthday, I vowed, “I do.” Four years later, I was too afraid to stay. Food and sleep were the only things I could control, and I avoided both to create a false sense of security.

I rushed into another marriage to hide from the loneliness. More striving and vicious cycles took over. Alcohol became my favorite escape as I embraced numbness, lost hope and retreated into my foxhole.

In March 2022, I surrendered in the dark. Feathers began to float in, one at a time, each bringing me closer to the peace I had always been missing. This space reflects my story, shares the love that changed my life and the wisdom that keeps me grounded.